fucking kenya.

I just got an email from one of the volunteers I worked with in Kenya. It was about BeeHive children's home which I worked in and the things that have been happening there. The information paints a beyond horrible and completely crap picture. I've been in tears and hyperventalating for the past hour, my sister managed to calm me down and i'm trying to work out what my next step is, should be, will be. i'm just shattered and heartbroken and I don't know what to do. My kids are being hurt, they are in the worst situation and i'm in fucking australia! at the end of the month everyone is getting together  but its in scotland and I don't have the money to get there! i just don't know what to do! my kids! I want to reach accross the world and strangle the people who are hurting them! 

the stuff that was in the email all happened after I left, at the time we thought something might be wrong, something wasn't right but we just didn't want to believe anything could happen! it didn't seem real, not about our kids. my god i wish i could just turn back the fucking clock! unicef and oxfam are now involved, as well as various children services... but god, I just. these are my kids. oh god. 

its 1.30 in the morning, i have work tomorrow, I have a list of things to do tommorrow. but my mind is just. fuck. what can i do?!